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A Love affair

“What will you do when your wife discovers that we are having an affair?” She asked. The question came unexpectedly, just out of the blues. She had expected him to spend the night but he had suddenly got up and dressed.”I have to go home, He said abruptly, throwing off the sheets and putting on his socks. I have to sign my daughter’s homework!” He said as he dressed hastily.

She was disappointed again. She had expected that she would spend the night, cuddled and warm in his arms. But here he was, the selfish man returning home to his wife. How selfish, she thought, to use her like that and dump her at midnight. How did you make love to a woman and as she slept in your arms, you just got up and left as if nothing had happened?

“So what will you tell your wife when she discovers that we are having an affair?” She repeated.

“You do not know how stubborn I can be!” He bragged. “She did not realise then that the stubborn streak would later on return to haunt her. Yes. She had sent him over 50 mobile love notes through short text messages but he had not replied to any. Perhaps he was dead. It was astonishing how a love that had once flourished so deeply could suddenly turn so sour, so disturbing.

She was afraid, very afraid. If he had died, then his wife must be holding his phone. Oh! She must be telling everybody about our secret love affair and reading through my romantic messages to her husband.

If only she had listened to her guts immediately the affair started, she would not have gone on to become so foolish. Why was she so depressed? Why did she feel this heavy loss at all? Was there a loss in the first place?

For the nine months they had known each other, the man had not spent a single cent on her. He had not bought her any gift…not even a cup of tea. She was always the one spending, taking him out to dinner, buying him gifts. Even the set of white underwear he wore were a gift from her. He had done her several favours but nothing romantic – purely official business.

Like most men in her past, he had excelled in the art of seduction, drawn her to passionate heights and then dropped her like a hot cake. She had done for him everything he ever wanted hoping he would love her, marry her.  But love had let her down.

Taking stock of her foggy past, things now seemed clearer. Was she hurt because he had left her or was it the realisation that she had refused to listen to her inner voice and run away from the beginning?

She looked at the relationship from the start. She would begin her day by sending text messages to the man. He would not respond for several days, until she called. When she called, he would talk briefly and say he would call back. This would take several days.

She remembered sending him a message asking him why he was not responding to her messages, wondering if there was something wrong between them. “There is a problem with my phone. I am not receiving any messages. I am trying to sort it out!” He would say and hang up.

Yet in moments when off guard, he would refer to the same message he said he had not received.

She remembered her mother telling her ,”My dear daughter, you are making the mistake of your life. One, you are moving with a married man and breaking his family. Two, the man will never leave his wife to marry you. That is just a lie the man is using to justify his relationship with you. The man will never leave his eight children for you!”

“But he has promised to leave her, he has sworn to leave her. He hates her. She is ugly and she doesn’t know how to cook. She is also very lazy. He says she was forced to marry her by his parents but I am the one he truly loves! So far he is only tolerating her because of the children!” She insisted, becoming hysterical.

“Let us wait and see.” Her mother said quietly. “Let us wait and see!”

She did not heed her mother’s advice. What could an old woman who had never been to school know about love? This was love and she loved this man deeply. “I think you are jealous of me because I have met a rich man who will take good care of me. This is my chance to get married to a man I love!’ She told her mother. He mother did not reply.

She had become suspicious of his love when he did not call her over Christmas or get in touch in the new year. But she still had some hope. She asked him why he did not get in touch and as usual he casually responded, “What does Christmas and New Year, mean? They mean nothing to me!” She found that response strange but decided to keep quiet.

On Valentine’s Day, she expected at least a call from him but nothing came up. The week before Valentine, she had called him several times begging him to see her but he dodged the visit. He claimed he was in the village visiting his mother only to forget and tell her he was around all along but busy in the office working.

What was it he wanted from her. Was she his guinea pig on an experiment he wanted to carry out on his sexual  prowess?

The visits grew less and less. She waited patiently as days turned into months. When she prodded him, he said he could not just visit me like that.”I have been waiting for a specific invitation not an open one,” he said. She felt confused.

She felt frustrated. Two years later, the man had not left his wife as he had promised. She was so frustrated that she asked him to release her from the burden of his love so that she could move on with her life. She knew that one day she would meet “the one”. But this one definitely was not the one! She would rather stay lonely than pretend she was with a man who only pretended to be part of her life but was not, would never be.

By now, she had began to despise him. But she promised herself she would not call him, she found herself scrawling for his number on the phone list. She called him, her heart missing a beat. He picked the call but sounded hostile and patronising. “We cannot continue with this relationship anymore. I think it is about time we broke up,”Justina told him, now truly desperate. “Relationship? What relationship?” He asked roughly, then chuckled. “Have we been in a relation? You know I am a married man, so what relationship are you talking about?” He asked.

“You cheated me you would leave your wife. You wasted my time! You used me!” Justina shouted, now totally out of control. Kizito laughed contemptuously. “You mad woman. Do you think I can leave my wife for you? Do you know how much that woman has done to support me? Have you seen the beautiful children she bore for me? Do you know the sacrifices my wife has made for me all these years? Leave her? Where did you get that idea? Are you really normal?”

“You must leave her now!” She said, trying to control her tears and her shaking voice.  I will never call you again!” She threatened. “Thank you and goodbye!” He said calmly and hang up the phone.

Her mother had been right after all. Justina thought she would die after the ugly break up but she never died. As she gathers her wrecked life back to pieces, she prays and hopes that she will survive as she waits to meet “the one”.

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